Thread:Joanne Maniago/@comment-29570797-20160821000649/@comment-177.95.5.232-20160929020145

Solon75 wrote: Solon75 wrote: @Koishi-Komeiji   I took your advice and I fixed up my Michelle piece I was working you. Would you like to see how it came out? Okay here is hopefully my better version of my Michelle project:

I took you advice and tried to avoid using the words knew, thought, felt, that, and then, but, just so, very, really, of, some, like, a bit, actually, currently, got, here, in order, just, literally, much, now, perhaps, pretty, quite, rather, really, simply, there, so, stuff, things, very

'''Note: Italicized words will either be thoughts or flashbacks. Pay attention to the context of the italicized words to determine if it’s a thought or flashback. '''

Note 2: Part of the inspiration for this one-shot came from Johnny Cash’s single, “Hurt.” But, there will be no song lyrics in the story, for the song I on copyright grounds.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Case nor any of its characters.

Stillness. It was all Michelle could feel when the bell landed on her, pure shock overtaking her emotions. She couldn’t feel anything; no feelings came to surface. The cold blood oozed out, soaking her body with the crimson red liquid. Wheezing could be heard; Michelle’s lungs suffocating over a lack of air. Blood trickled out from her mouth with every moment of suffering. It did not take Michelle long to realize she was dying, with the bell being her death cage.

“W-ho…could have done this… t-to… me?”

As Michelle pondered on the question, the elements of time and space slowed down for Michelle. While happening, Michelle could see flashbacks from her life flying by. One such flashback made Michelle want to forget her past.

''“LET ME OUT OF THE CLOSET ISABEL! Let me out, you hear! You won’t get away with this!”''

Michelle could now see herself as a six-year-old girl, locked within a closet. She trembled in fear of remembering the six years of hell she had to endure with her nanny. Besides being locked into a closet, Michelle often received whippings with a switch for major disobedience. Such cruel punishments haunted Michelle up into her adult years. For Michelle, she wondered on how many more children received the same treatment that she gone through. It also made her wonder if Isabel was still alive after all of these years, since Michelle’s family moved back to America when she was twelve.

“Come here Michelle, daddy loves you as always.”

Michelle could now see herself as a young adult, about to head off for law school, being hugged by her dad.

“Dad.”

A single tear fell from Michelle’s eyes. Her father was the parent she could lean on, ever since her mother died when she was only sixteen. Michelle thought back to all of the good times she had with her father, all of the great memories they had together. But ever since Michelle left for law school, she had stopped communicating her with father. For Michelle, she was unsure if her father was even still alive. Having that concept made Michelle regretful and saddened at the possibility of her father being dead, not having the comfort of talking to Michelle.

''“I’m s-sorry…dad! I’m sorry for not…staying…in touch…with you…all of these y-years. I do not know…if you are still alive. But if you were, you…w-would…be ashamed to know…that I was…a…lawyer for an international…criminal… organization n-named SOMBRA. A-and that I…turned a b-blind e-eye… to their corruption.”''

All of a sudden, sadness emptied into resentfulness, bitterness, and anger. These feelings made Michelle enraged at herself and SOMBRA.

''“Stupid…SOMBRA! T-they ruined…my…life, along…with the lives of other people. Why… did I…waste m-my…hours…w-with…them?”''

<p class="MsoNormal">Michelle now saw herself as SOMBRA’s top lawyer and she hated it. There was hatred for defending a group that had no value of the lives of children. Michelle also hated the idea of SOMBRA using Social Darwinism as a means of who lived and who died. Anger filled Michelle with the realization that her whole life had been wasted defending people over a cause not worthy to a person’s own liberty. While paid to defend people such as Anbu Devanesan, Michelle grew more regretful as she thought about the people she defended before.

<p class="MsoNormal">''“Shame on how… I-I was with them. I…wished I had joined the Bureau a…long time a-ago.”''

<p class="MsoNormal">The Bureau.

<p class="MsoNormal">The mention of the name made gratefulness fill Michelle.

<p class="MsoNormal">''“I'm authorized to give you this badge, Michelle! You're now a member of the Bureau.” ''

<p class="MsoNormal">''“Thank you Ingrid. I won't let you down! Give me a second to be ready! I'll meet you at the crime scene Secret Agent Johnathan!”''

<p class="MsoNormal">Michelle now saw the day she became an official member of the Bureau. While being tense and hostile at first, for she had to help solve the investigation of who the SOMBRA Mole was, she was grateful in her heart the Bureau accepted her. While in Antarctica, Michelle played a role in providing historical information over SOMBRA. Her ability to remember the function organization of SOMBRA played a huge role in going all the way to Campanillia, Colomiba. Now, though, Michelle knew her journey was nearing an end.

<p class="MsoNormal">“My…time is al-

<p class="MsoNormal">A sudden jolt of pain violently shook Michelle’s body and her heart raced at an alarming rate. Michelle was now at the edge of death.

<p class="MsoNormal">“My… death will not… be in… vain.”

<p class="MsoNormal">A sudden determination fulfilled Michelle, one that would get done. Michelle believed in her heart the Bureau would avenge her death. She knew that somebody cut the rope and made the bell land on her, that she was an assignation target but could not figure out who the culprit was. Nonetheless, she knew the Bureau would avenge her death and bring an end to SOMBRA.

<p class="MsoNormal">Snapping back into the elements of time of space, it was just a few seconds after the bell was on Michelle, crushing her.

<p class="MsoNormal">But it did not matter to Michelle Zuria, she was at peace with herself. With her eyes closing for the last time, Michelle just smiled, she could see a bright light in front of her. And to her surprise there was her mother, holding out her arms, waiting to hug Michelle. Full of excitement, Michelle ran into her mother’s arms and just embraced her.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Oh momma, good… to be with you again, I missed…you so much” she thought with her last breath.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Now, what do you think? I will say that I really tried my hardest to take your advice and apply to my writing. I just hope it turns out good, but I'll let you be the judge of that.

<p class="MsoNormal">

Aww, very sad and good. Might say I approve of this as an one-shot of Michelle's death. Very, very, very good. Maybe try with other characters too, such as Frank, Hiroshi, Lavinia, the list goes on.