Under the Knife/Transcript

Main Article: Under the Knife

Jones : Nice seeing you again,  ! Jones : By the way, we have another dead body on our hands. He was found in a backstreet, in Caribou Corner. Jones : They're waiting for us. Let's go!

Chapter 1
Investigate Backstreet.    Jones : Good job! So our victim's name is Alan Cardwell... Let's send his passport to the lab, see what else Alex can dig up about him. Jones : And while we wait for the autopsy results, what do you say we have a look at this wallet,  ? '''

Autopsy the Victim's Body. Nathan : Your body's been pretty talkative! While bruises indicate than Alan died fighting... Nathan : ... the cause of death, however, is from a punctured liver. The instrument was sharp and long, that's all I can determine. Nathan : I extracted glass fragments from cuts in his hands. I analyzed it and it turns out the glass is from a pair of glasses. Nathan : They must have been broken during the fight between Alan and the killer... The reason I'm saying all this is because Alan doesn't wear glasses: it's your killer who wears them! Nathan : And this is going to sound weird, but after the killer murderered Alan, they stuffed a ball of paper deep inside his throat! Jones : Great work, Nathan! It looks like the paper is all torn up. , are you ready to piece this clue back together?

Examine Torn Paper. Jones : Good job,  ! It's a photo... of an extremely beautiful woman. The kind of woman men could kill for. Jones : And look at the writing on the back: "Your little hummingbird, Samantha Warner". , let's see if we can get this birdie to sing for us! Jones : You're right, , we should also examine this photo more closely to see if we can find any more clues!

Examine Photograph. Jones      : Well done, ! Let's send this substance straight to the lab!   

Analyze Substance. Grace : The substance you found on the photo is a match with polishing paste. Grace : And this particular type of paste is commonly used for the polishing of golf clubs. Jones : You don't say! So our killer plays golf. How Posh!

Talk to the singer from the photo found in the victim's's throat. Samantha Warner : Of course I knew Alan! He was my surgeon. I can't believe he's dead! Jones : We found this picture in his throat. The killer obviously had a message to give, and it concerned you! Samantha Warner : Are you telling me Alan was killed because of me? Samantha Warner : I can't imagine anyone wanting to do that! But I promise to think about it, officers...

Jones : I don't intend to just trick around until she thinks about it!

Analyze Passport. Alex : Your Alan Cardwell was a plastic surgeon. No criminal records. His address is 21, Alistair Street. Alex : Might be worth a shot going there to talk to his widow, Sarah Cardwell!

Go speak to the victim's wife Sarah Cardwell. Sarah Cardwell : Alan and I had been married for 15 years... He wasn't exactly a perfect husband, but still! Jones : We're sorry for your loss. Do you know if your husband had enemies? Sarah Cardwell : As a matter of fact... He got this letter just yesterday, but he refused to take it seriously! Here, take it. Jones : An anonymous letter?!

Jones : The killer actually warned Alan about his demise! "I warned you to stop seeing her. You didn't listen. Tomorrow, you die."! Jones :  , we should have a closer look at this! Maybe its sender left us a souvenir...

Examine Anonymous Letter. Jones : Bingo! Let's have this sample analyzed!

Analyze Unknown Substance. Grace : Your molecules are from ordinary coffee. Nothing thrilling, except... Grace : ... the letters were glued on TOP of the stain! Jones : Which means our killer's got a taste for coffee! Thanks, Grace!

Examine Wallet Contents. Jones : A barbershop card... This may well be the last place Alan went to before his death! Jones : Well, <Name>, we might as well go check it out!

Investigate Barbershop <span id="cke_bm_313E" style="display: none;">    Before Investigation Jones : Now where did that barber go? Jones : Whatever. Let's have a look around anyway! After Investigation Jones : We'd better have a look at this trashcan!

Examine Trashcan. Jones : This is yesterday's schedule... and look! Here, at 2pm: Alan Cardwell! Ramirez : Sorry to interrupt, chief, but the barber's here.

Question Joshua Kempe about the victim who was his client. Joshua Kempe : What the hell are you doing here?! Don't you dare search my place without my permission! Jones : Chill out, Kempe! We found your card on dead man's body. Did you know Alan Cardwell? Joshua Kempe : He's one of my best customers, yes! Why, I saw him just yesterday! Jones : We already guessed that. Do you have anything remotely helpful to tell us? Joshua Kempe : Well... He did have a pretty heated argument with our Golden Boy Curtis Newman yesterday. Maybe you should go talk to him.

Question Curtis Newman about his heated argument with the victim. Curtis Newman : F**k, Cardwell's dead? Jones : Yes. And your barber saw you arguing with him yesterday. But judging by the bandages on your hand, it seems you had a full blown fight! Curtis Newman : I was angry and I hit a wall instead of his face... It helps me avoid lawsuits that way. Curtis Newman : But it wasn't the best of moves. I've broken my left hand, and since I'm left-handed, I won't be able to play in next week's golf tournament.

Jones : A golf match, how fancy of him! Better write it down!

Chapter 2
Jones : Okay, <Rank> <Name>! We need new leads. What do you say we have another look at that barbershop, or maybe the alley?

Investigate Garbage Bin. Jones : I have NO idea what this is, but there's blood on it! Let's get this to the lab!

Analyze Broken Tip. Nathan : Good find, <Rank> <Name>! The blood on this broken tip turned out to be Alan's! Nathan : Also, I don't know if you noticed the symbols on the tip: I.N.R.I but they form a well-known Christian acronym! Nathan : <Rank> <Name>, I'd suggest you check out the nearest chruch. And if I were you, I'd carefully inspect all the religious artifacts!

Ramirez : <Rank> <Name>! Miss Warner just called. Ramirez : She said the only person she could see killing because of her is a man named Paul Oaster. Jones : Perfect! Thank you, Ramirez!

Samantha Warner said Paul Oaster was the only one capable for her. Paul Oaster : You've got excuse me if I come across as nervous, <Rank> <Name>... it's because I drank too much coffee. Jones : Well, here's another reason to be nervous: Samantha Warner believes you may have killed Alan because you were jealous of him! Paul Oaster : Wait, just wait a second! Now this woman... you've gotta understand. She's got under my skin. I love her, so so much but I'd never kill for her. Paul Oaster : Besides, I wouldn't trust what she has to say about ME. Ever since I caught her and Alan having sex, she hates my guts!

Jones : I guess Alan wasn't JUST her surgeon... let's go see what Samantha has to say about this!

Question Samantha Warner about her affair with the victim. Samantha Warner : Of course I was dating Alan! He was a great womanizer, and I have a weak spot for strong, confident men... Samantha Warner : ... men like you, in short. Jones : Hehehe, thank you for the compliment! Jones : ... But don't think I can't see through your tactics! Samantha Warner : Ha, you sound just like Curtis. Always trying to keep the upper hand! Jones : Curtis? As in Curtis Newman? You're seeing him too?! Samantha Warner : If I'm seeing him! Why, Curtis is my most devoted lover!

Jones : It all fits! That's why Curtis Newman fought with Alan, at the barber's! They must have been arguing about Samantha!

Talk to Curtis about his affair with Samantha Warner. Curtis Newman : Sure, I'd love a cup of coffee. Curtis Newman : But I can't help you, sorry. I don't know any Samantha Warner. Jones : Oh cut the crap, will you? Samantha told us firsthand that you were her lover! Curtis Newman : Look, have you SEEN Samantha? She's the kind of woman people kill for! Curtis Newman : I think that's exactly what happened with Alan, and I'd rather it did not happen to ME! The fewer people know about me and Sam, the better!

Jones : Well, I can't blame him! Knowing Samantha seems dangerous these days. Jones : But he still fits our profile so far, what with the golfing, and the coffee...

Investigate Pew. Jones : Great find, <Name>! Not only is this candlestick bloodstained, but its tip is broken! Let's send it straight to the lab!

Analyze Candlestick. Nathan : The tip you found and this candlestick are perfect fit! Nathan : Not to mention this makeshift weapon's imprint fits the wound on Alan's body. Nathan : There can be no doubt left: you've got your murder weapon!

Investigate Barber's Seat. Jones : Wait a second... this briefcase has got Alan's name on the inside! Why did you keep it, Mr. Kempe?! Joshua Kempe : You've got some nerve! People forget things here all the time! I have no idea it was here!

Examine Briefcase. Jones : Well done, <Name>! It's kind of ironic that Alan had a life insurance policy leaflet in his bag! Jones : I agree, <Name>: this could be an excellent motive for wanting him dead. We should find out who the beneficiary might have been...

Analyze Leaflet. Alex : Alan took out an insurance policy right before his death, for a total of half a million dollars! Jones : That's a nice nest egg! And who's the beneficiary? Alex : ... His wife, duh!

Go talk to Sarah about her murdered husband's life insurance. Sarah Cardwell : I just knew you'd bring that life insurance up! Jones : We're just doing our job. And you have to admit it's a pretty damming coincidence, your husband setting this up just before he got murdered. Sarah Cardwell : If I'd wanted to get my husband's money, I'd have filed a divorce on grounds of adultery!

Jones : Well, she's got a point...

Chapter 3
Jones : Maybe we should go back to the church, don't you think? Ramirez : Sir! One of oursnitches reported having seen Joshua Kempe loitering near the church on the night of the crime! Jones : Joshua Kempe? What the...!

Question Joshua about loitering near the crime scene. Joshua Kempe : What do you mean, I was "loitering" near the church! Am I loitering right now? Just to make sure! Joshua Kempe : I did walk past the church yesterday evening. I was on my way to Miss Warner's! She lives across from it! Jones : Oh god, don't tell me you're also seeing her? Joshua Kempe : What do you mean, "Seeing"? Miss Warner is an excellent customer, and as such, she gets the privilege of housecalls! Jones : ... oh. Thanks for the clearing up, Joshua. Care for a cup of coffee before you leave? Joshua Kempe : Finally, some respect! I will gladly have a cup of coffee, thank you.

Jones : Ramirez will hear from me! I can't believe he never told us Samantha lived right next to the church!

Talk to Samantha Warner about living near the crime scene. Samantha Warner : I can't believe Alan was murdered in that church! Jones : We're thinking his killer might have stopped by your place, either before or after murder. Did you see anymore that night? Samantha Warner : I was with Curtis. But we weren't at my place, we spent the evening at the golf club...

Jones : Seriously, is it something in the water? Does everyone in this town play golf?! Maybe we should get a membership...

Investigate Altar. Jones : I didn't know churches used surveillance cameras! Good intuition, <Name>!

Analyze Camera. Alex : The camera's view was limited, but I still found out a few interesting things. Alex : Alan enters the church at 9pm. 5 minutes later, he starts arguing with someone standing off-camera. Alex : Things get heated, and Alan gets stabbed with the (candlestick). A man then kneels next to him and pushes something in his mouth. Alex : The video's too grainy to make out his face, but I'm sure of two things: your killer's a man and, judging by the hand with which he struck, he's right-handed! Jones : <Name>, Curtis has already told us he is left-handed! I guess this rules him out...

Jones : <Rank> <Name>, what do you say we go ask what our scorned lover was doing on the night of the murder?

Question Paul Oaster about the night of the murder. Paul Oaster : What did I do on the night of the murder? I was coming back from a golf tournament. Paul Oaster : See, I even won this pendant for best right-handed swing that day. And what a day it was! Paul Oaster : But, er, of course... it's terribly sad Alan happened to die that day too...

Jones : Well, I think we finally have everything we need to make an arrest! I'll let you handle things, <Rank> <Name>!

Arrest Killer. Jones : Mr Oaster, you're under arrest for the murder of Alan Cardwell! Paul Oaster : Based on what, exactly? You've got nothing against me! Jones : I bet you won't look so smug when we show the court the fingerprints we found on the murder weapon. Paul Oaster : You lie! There weren't any prints on that candlestick. Jones : Good job, you caught my bluff. But how did you know the murder weapon was a candlestick? Nobody but us knew that fact. Paul Oaster : ... Jones : You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a Court of Law...

Paul Oaster : Yes, I killed him! And I would kill him again, that sex-crazed, capitalistic pig, who doesn't care about inequalities as long as he can have some fun! Paul Oaster : And I chose that filthy church to do it because it represents all the hypocrisy of this promiscuous society! Judge Hall : Your reasons do not interest this Court. You repeteadly threatened the victim and clearly premeditated his murder. Judge Hall : What's more, the fact that you deliberately chose a place of worship to commit your crime is abhorrent! Paul Oaster : Abhorrent! But I did it to protect Samantha! Don't you understand? I love her! I did this for love! Judge Hall : Silence! This Court hereby sentences you to life in jail. May this time help you reflect on the true value of this love you speak of!

Additional Investigation
Samuel King : <Name>, I'd like you to go check up on Mrs Cardwell and Miss Warner. The sudden death of a loved one, it's bound to be emotionally devastating. Samuel King : Moreover, I've just received a call from Ramirez who's gotten himself tangled up in a row at Mr Kempe's barbershop. You better go give him a helping hand!

See how Samantha Warner is doing. Jones : Miss... Miss Warner? Is that really you?! Samantha Warner : Don't be so surprised, Jones. I feel terribly responsible for Alan's death and I'm tired of men going all crazy over me. It was time I changed my lifestyle. Samantha Warner : I'm glad you're here: I want to pray for Alan but I've lost my rosary in the church. Without it, I'd have the feeling that my prayer wasn't being heard... Jones : Don't worry Sister Warner, with <Rank> <Name>, it will only take us a few minutes to find your rosary in here!

Jones : I can't believe Miss Warner has become a nun! Whoever said that people never change was talking nonsense! Jones : I never realized she was so affected by Alan's death. And here I was thinking she didn't care! I feel awful... Jones : Well, let's make it up to her by finding her rosary!

Investigate Pew. Jones : I don't think this rosary is going to be of any use to Miss Warner. Not looking like this. Jones : I know I ask this of you a lot <Name>, but do you think you could fix it? Pretty please...

Examine Broken Rosary. Jones : Amazing, <Name>, you've managed to fix Miss Warner's rosary! You're as talented as you are reliable! Jones : I still can't believe how much Miss Warner has changed. I mean she went from reckless femme fatale to nun: that's a whole new way of life! Jones : You're right, <Name>, let's go give this rosary back to Miss Warner so that she can pray for Cardwell's peace.

Give her rosary back to Samantha Warner. Samantha Warner : Oh, how sweet of you. Sadly I don't have any time left to pray. I'm late for my date with Curtis and I still need to change out of this silly costume. Samantha Warner : Me? A nun? Ha ha, no. I'm just preparing for a small movie role, but I'm flattered you believed it, Jones. See you soon, maybe! Jones : <Name>, whoever said that people never change wasn't so stupid after all. I can't believe I fell for her act!

See What the problem is with Joshua Kempe. Jones : What the hell is going on here, Ramirez? Ramirez : Er, it's complicated. Mr Curtis is accusing Mr Kempe of never cleaning his scissors and because of that, Mr Curtis has now got lice and... Joshua Kempe : Outrageous! I carefully clean my scissors after every client. If Curtis here has got lice, it's definitely not from me and my scissors... Curtis Newman : Don't try that one on me, old man! Lying comes to you as naturally as breathing! Now you better hope your bones are not as weak as your lies! Ramirez : EVERYBODY CALM DOWN RIGHT ABOUT NOW! Ramirez : Er... I mean... I'm sorry... Please, <Rank> <Name>, would you mind fixing this for me? Jones : Well <Name>, let's help Ramirez out. We should search the place, see if we can find anything that could help settle this fight!

Investigate Barbershop. Jones : I'm not touching that thing, not even with a ten foot pole. If there are lice in there, they're all yours!

Examine Hair Pile. Jones : You want to hand over these scissors to Grace? You really think she's actually going to analyze them?

Analyze Scissors. Grace : Those scissors you brought me, there's nothing on them apart for some faint traces of hand sanitizer. I don't get it: what exactly were you looking for? Jones : Er... lice...? Grace : Now you're telling me?! Jones : Sorry, Grace... Right, <Name>, we should probably hurry up and settle the fight at Kempe's before things turn ugly!

Break up the fight and talk to Joshua Kempe. Jones : Mr. Kempe, it seems you were telling the truth. The lab analysis only revealed traces of hand sanitizer. Your scissors are spotlessly clean. Curtis Newman : I don't give a damn, I'm never stepping foot in to this shit hole again! Joshua Kempe : Who needs clients like you anyway? Good riddance, I say! Joshua Kempe : As for you, <Rank> <Name>, please let me offer you a free haircut, on the house!

Sarah Cardwell wants to talk to you. Jones : Mrs. Cardwell, what are you doing here? I don't think it's a good idea for you to visit the murder scene... Sarah Cardwell : I'm looking for Alan's weeding ring. I went to the morgue, but it wasn't on his finger... so I thought since this is where Alan's body was found, then his ring might be here too. Jones : Why don't you go home, Mrs. Cardwell? My partner and I will search this area for you. And don't worry, we'll find Alan's ring in no time!

Investigate Backstreet. Jones : Great work, <Name>, you've found a ring! but is it the ring we're looking for? Jones : There's something engraved on it... You know what? I'd hate to give Mrs. Cardwell any false hope. <Name>, can you decypher the writing?

Examine Ring. Jones : It's a date: 05/08/1982. And according to Cardwell's file... that's the date they got married! Jones : <Name>, you're amazing! This proves it's Alan's wedding ring! Jones : Let's not keep Mrs. Cardwell waiting any longer, she's going to be so happy that we've found the ring for her!

Give Sarah her husband's wedding ring. Sarah Cardwell : I can't believe it! You found Alan's wedding ring! I can still remember the night he asked me to marry him... It was just so magical... Sarah Cardwell : With everything that's happened, maybe it's not obvious to you but Alan and I did love each other. Deeply. Sarah Cardwell : Oh, if only you could have seen us back when we were young, you'd have seen how truly happy we were... And this ring is a nice reminder of that, so thank you! Jones : <Rank> <Name> is the one to thank, we wouldn't have found that ring without my partner! Sarah Cardwell : Thank you from the bottom of my heart! And I refuse to let you leave on an empty stomatch, so please, have this.